3 Years Later, A Lot Has Changed - God Has Not!

Hello, to anyone who reads this blog...

If I am the only one who does, I at least want to encourage myself (and hopefully others who stumble upon this feeble attempt at a blog) with the faithfulness of our God. Just to be open and honest, Life has been a struggle the last 3 years, but it hasn't always looked the same..

.Food and exercise and body image (as was the main topic of my blog years ago) have been struggles still, but in the last 3 years I have come face to face with the real issues behind that struggle, which is the ultimate struggle.

 Background: I had a period of dark, deep depression for many months...After seeing doctors and therapists, the Lord lifted the veil of darkness and for a while I thought I was gaining my footing, reaching a more "holy" place...

But when the darkness lifted, I started to drift...I can't pinpoint an action, a moment, a time even when this happened...But I have seen the effects in my heart and life over the last 2 years. The struggle I fight (and find myself losing more often than not) is the love of self, the preoccupation with self, the love of the world and the things of the world...All these things have nearly choked out my love for the Father...the One who adopted me freely, died for me freely, to redeem me from death, sin, fear, failure, darkness and every result of the fall.

 Compounding this struggle is the feeling that I don't fit in with the body of Christ because of these failings...I know in my heart my loves are different, my thoughts are different, my actions are different....The devil I believe wants me to feel those things, because it has made me step away from the church, not every Sunday but a lot of them...

The Lord has saved me, I know, he keeps pursuing me it is clear. He pursued me tonight...I had no intention of writing this post or even meditating on spiritual things. But God in his mercy always finds way to catch His children before they fall too far...There is so much I could say, but I think the most important thing for me is to express my thankfulness for specific things/people...

 1) Those who helped me get out of an abusive relationship (you know who you are!)...Thanks for standing by me and always telling me the truth, even before I was willing and able to hear it!

 2) Amy and Carol - thanks for praying and loving on me every Thursday night!

 3) Special people at work who constantly amaze me with their love for God and others

 4) Kristi - thanks for pouring out your heart with me! I love you so much!

 5) Providence - thankful for friends and family there who love and support me and love the Lord with all their heart soul and mind

 6) My parents, and all the lovely people of North Ridge Bible Chapel who introduced me to the Gospel long ago!

 7) Jen - for helping me think positively and let go of negative thinking about myself, to realize I am worthy and capable

I pray that you will be encouraged by the following quote, because it is one that moved me deeply tonight, and gives me sure hope to keep on keepin on in the faith even when He seems far (He's not though!)

 "I believe in the sun even when its not shining, I believe in love even when I'm alone, I believe in God even when He is silent" - C.S. Lewis       Lord, help us believe even in the silence!

 To anyone who reads this, God loves you and He is jealous for your heart! Take heart, He has overcome the world! Rejoicing, Em

To Him Who Is Able

"When we were children, we were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons...So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God...But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?" from Gal 4

Why do we turn back to sin and the fleeting pleasures of sin, whose slaves we once were and who we want to be again? Why is it so hard to flee from sin and to run to Christ, the one who brought us to know Him and delivered us from a life of slavery?

I am so encouraged by Paul's letter to the Galatians and the Spirit's power to overcome our flesh's desires. We have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. And the life we now live in the flesh we live by faith in the Son of God, who loved us and gave himself for us. Having begun by the Spirit, we are not being perfected by the flesh, but by the Spirit who gives us life in Christ.

Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. (Rom 8)

God has given us the authority to say NO to sin by the power of His Spirit at work within us. Though we still struggle in this earthly tent, we have been crucified with Christ. All our sin was nailed into Jesus hands and feet on the cross. He bore all of God's righteous wrath against our sin. And, there is now no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus! Praise the Lord!

Take comfort in that God uses our sin to remind us of our constant need for dependence on Him in prayer and our absolute inability to make ourselves right with God. But, praise God, we have ALREADY been made right before God, through the blood of Christ the Lamb!

He WILL sustain us to the end, guiltless in the day of Christ Jesus. (from 1 cor 1)

"Now to him WHO IS ABLE to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." from Jude

Glorious Truth from Let the Nations Be Glad

"At the bottom of all our hope, when everything else has given way, we stand on this great reality:
The everlasting, all-sufficient God is infinitely, unwaveringly and eternally committed to the glory of
his great and holy name. For the sake of his fame among the nations he will act. His name will not
be profaned forever. The mission of the church will be victorious. He will vindicate his people and his
cause in all the earth." J. Piper, Let the Nations Be Glad

Encouragement from Scripture

It's been a while since I've posted. This semester has been really hard. So much uncertainty with graduating and job searching. On top of that, I've been trying (and often failing) to get my binging under control.

However, I just want to encourage you with some Scripture and some lyrics that have really helped me believe that Christ is victorious over sin and that we are no longer slaves to sin if we are in Christ.

"Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us?" (Rom 8:34). This verse has been so comforting to know that Christ is interceding on my behalf and that any condemning thoughts that come into my head have to be lies from Satan, because Christ is imploring me to repent and turn towards him.

"This Man receives sinners and eats with them." Luke 15:2. This verse reminds me that Christ came to seek and save that which was lost. And He sent his Son into the world NOT to condemn the world, BUT that the world through him might be saved!

"Abide in me and I in you...for apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:45). I love this verse because fighting sin is so hard that we can't fight it and live lives devoted to Christ unless we are abiding in Him. But when we are abiding in Him, sin is no match for His redeeming power! Hallelujah!

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires." (Rom 13:14). I love this verse!! I repeat it over and over in my head when I face temptation and I have found it helpful! So thankful that we can put on the Lord Jesus Christ, or we would be slaves to our flesh!


Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart;
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground,
And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found.

Behold the Lamb

Behold the Lamb who bears our sins away,

Slain for us - and we remember

The promise made that all who come in faith

Find forgiveness at the cross.

So we share in this bread of life,

And we drink of His sacrifice

As a sign of our bonds of peace

Around the table of the King.

The body of our Savior Jesus Christ,

Torn for you - eat and remember

The wounds that heal, the death that brings us life

Paid the price to make us one.

So we share in this bread of life,

And we drink of His sacrifice

As a sign of our bonds of love

Around the table of the King.

The blood that cleanses every stain of sin,

Shed for you - drink and remember

He drained death's cup that all may enter in

To receive the life of God.

So we share in this bread of life,

And we drink of His sacrifice

As a sign of our bonds of grace

Around the table of the King.

And so with thankfulness and faith we rise

To respond, - and to remember

Our call to follow in the steps of Christ

As His body here on earth.

As we share in His suffering

We proclaim Christ will come again!

And we’ll join in the feast of heaven

Around the table of the King
- Keith & Kristyn Getty

Praying that we would rejoice in Christ's salvation this weekend, made possible only by the death, burial, and resurrection of God's son. Praying that many will behold the Lamb this Sunday and make Him their Lord and Savior!

You Will Rise Up In The End

This weekend was really hard for me. I broke three commitments that I told myself I must abide by: I binged, I read a fitness magazine (which has become like pornography to me), and I ran on Saturday morning before reading the Word (I never ended up reading the Word that day). I felt consumed by guilt and self-condemnation because I wasn't measuring up, not even closely

I have to remind myself of the Gospel, and be reminded by others: Christ is our perfect substitute. It is by His righteousness that we will enter the kingdom. It is His hold on me that will never be broken. It is His grace that sustains me every day. In Christ, there is no judgment for me, no wrath. All God's wrath was spent on Christ. There is none left for me. But His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness.

A dear friend sent this song to me today, and I found it super encouraging:

You Will Rise Up in the End

“Every stone that makes you stumble
and cuts you when you fall
Every serpent here that strikes your heel
to curse you when you crawl
The king of love one day will crush them all

And every sad seduction and every clever lie
Every word that woos and wounds the pilgrim children of the sky
The king of love will break them by and by

And you will rise up in the end
You will rise up in the end
I know the night is cruel
but the day is coming soon
And you will rise up in the end

If the thief had to come to plunder when the children were alone
If he ravaged every daughter and murdered every son
Would not their father see this? Would not his anger burn?
And would he not repay the tyrant in the day of his return?
Oh, wait. Oh, wait the day of his return

Cause he will rise up in the end
He will rise up in the end
I know you need a Savior
He is patient in his anger
And he will rise up in the end

And when the stars come crashing to the sea
and the high and mighty fall down on their knees
When you see the Son descending in the sky
the chains of death will fall around your feet

You will rise up in the end
you will rise up in the end”

—Ben Shive, “Rise Up”, *The Ill-Tempered

Glorious!

One day you will say, “How did such a light affliction bring me into this kind of glory?” 2 Cor. 4:17

@BobSorge